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You have reached DrB's Self Serve Pharmacy
Due to serious corporate cutbacks, we have been forced
to go to a self serve system.
No prescription nessessary!
When your feeling poorly or just need a reason to smile, walk thru our warehouse storage bins and take as much as you need to get that perky grin going again.
We will not be responsible for overdosing, use at your own risk.
| Storage Bins
Bins U thru Z will be filled soon and new bins will be added as we receive stock from all our retail outlets.
es, funny animations
HOW TO CLEAN A MAN'S BRAIN
Send this to any woman who could use a laugh,
and any man with a GOOD sense of humor!
Is it just me or does anyone else find it absolutely amazing that the U.S. government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and determine exactly what that cow ate. They can also track her calves right to their stalls, and tell you what kind of feed they ate. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around in their country, including people that are trying to blow up important structures in the U.S. My solution is to give every illegal alien a cow as soon as they enter the country.
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and
walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture."
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
One night GW Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He
awakens to see George Washington' ghost standing beside him. Bush looks
up and asks, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington
advises, then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again, when he sees the ghost of Thomas
Jefferson moving silently around the bedroom. Bush calls out: "Tom,
please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and then dims
The third night sleep still evades Bush. He sees the ghost of FDR
hovering over his bed. Bush lowers his voice and asks, "Franklin, What
is the best thing I could to help the country?"
FDR replies, "Help the less fortunate, just as I did," and the he
Bush still isn't sleeping well the fourth night. He tosses and turns,
and suddenly another figure moves out of the shadows. It's the ghost of
Abraham Lincoln. "Abe," Bush pleads, "what's the best thing I can do
now to help the country?"
Lincoln pauses, then replies, "Go see a play."
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
~Native American Proverb
Sending Old Men To War
If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.
An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends (It's purposely in big type for us old guys...)
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart, and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend. Amen.
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store.
PEACE OF MIND
I haven't really lost my mind .... it's backed up on disc somewhere.
A young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead are you?"
"No," she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
A man meets a beautiful brunette and decides he wants to marry her right away. She tells him they don't know anything about each other. He tells her that it's fine, they can learn about each other as they go along.
She consents, they marry... then leave for their honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning as they are lying by the pool, he gets up, climbs the 10 meter board, and fluidly performs a two and a half tuck full gainer followed by three rotations in a jackknife position, then straightens out and cuts the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he comes back and eases back on his towel.
Very excited, she says, "That was incredible!"
"I used to be an Olympic diving champion," he says. "You see, I told you
we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
The brunette gets up, jumps in the pool, and starts doing laps. After about fifty laps, she climbs back out and lies down on her towel, hardly out of breath.
Very excited, he says, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No," she answers. "I was a hooker in Laredo, Texas, and I worked both
sides of the river."
The preacher's, Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies"
Toward the end of the service, he asked his congregation,
"How many of you have forgiven their enemies?"
About half held up their hands.
He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands.
He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones," inquired the preacher, "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-three." She replied.
Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."
" Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."
A new airbag for men.
And God Created Dog and Cat
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come from?'
Adam said, 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you any more. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.'
And God said 'No problem. I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and it wagged its tail.
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him Dog.'
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well.'
And the Lord said, 'No problem. I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration.'
And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't care one way or the other.